PCOS and Emotional Release

PCOS Mental Health
Written By Rachel Ruha
 
 
 

The Importance of Mindful Breathing for PCOS

By now I will venture to say that most of us are aware of the potential benefits of mindful breathing on our health. Exhalation is directly controlled by the vagus nerve, which relays relaxation from the central nervous system to the body. Therefore deep, slow breathing allows us to access our parasympathetic nervous system via the vagus nerve. The vagus nerve effectively informs our brains of what is occurring in our external environment through bodily signals, and vice versa. If we are in a state of calm, we can enter the parasympathetic nervous system, which downregulates our bodies. This means our heart rates decrease, digestion kicks in, we can more easily detox through urination and bowel movements, and even experience healthier sexual function. Since many of us with PCOS tend to favor the sympathetic nervous system, or fight or flight state, often these automatic bodily functions face some challenges. Thus, mindful breathing that focuses on an increased exhale can assist us with entering into our “rest” functions. 

Now that doesn’t feel too wild in our current environment. What is less widely accepted and scientifically understood, however, is what happened to me during a somatic release breathwork experience.

 

May 2022

Have you ever felt simultaneously skeptical, terrified, and excited? That’s how I was feeling in May 2022. I was in upstate New York at a wellness retreat, surrounded by a group of 25 amazing women. We were in an intimate yoga studio, about to start our next session - something to do with breathwork. This, I was comfortable with. I figured it would be a break from confronting my emotions, something we had been doing for the whole retreat. I was eager to just relax and breathe, bring down my heart rate, and quite frankly, not talk to anyone. No emotions, I thought. Finally, something in my comfort zone.

Enter Skepticism

We started out the session and put on our blindfolds, laying down on our yoga mats. We covered ourselves with blankets and I was ready for a nap. Our facilitator started out the session by telling us we would breathe in a way that felt unnatural to us, but to keep up with it and trust the process. She also told us that the practice may cause a significant emotional release, which may result in tears, sobs, or even bodily shaking. “Yeah right,” I thought to myself. Something like this would never do that for me. I prepared myself to cozy up with my blanket and visualize myself on a beach, replay a movie in my head, or review my ‘To Do’ list. 

What… in the **** … is happening?

Nonetheless I played along when the facilitator started directing our breath. “Now breathe in through your nose. Instead of directing the breath into your chest, direct the breath into your belly first, then push it up into your chest, and exhale forcefully through your mouth”. She directed our breath according to what felt like very shallow timing. I felt like I couldn’t even keep up, but I strived to. And as I did, I knew there wasn’t gonna be a damn millisecond of relaxation. No replaying a movie happening here - this was not the mindful breathing I would do before bed to sleep restfully. HELL to the no. All I could think was “What the flying f**k is happening to me right now?” My legs locked up, my arms were trembling. I was panicking. I could see the headlines right then and there: “Graduate student drugged at wellness retreat weeks shy of graduation”; “Asthmatic woman dies violently during  breathwork session”; and probably something cheeky in the New Yorker. Maybe, “Millionaires in Training or Morons in Training? MIT Grad student falls for wellness retreat scam”. 

 

Somatic Processing

Despite my vivid imagination, I continued following the facilitator and breathing in a way that I can only describe as feeling like hyperventilation. While I was pondering clever tombstones for myself, I failed to realize that I had started sobbing. I continued with the facilitated breathing exercise as best as I could while continuing to sob. Suddenly I was visualizing images from my childhood pertaining to some unfavorable memories that have left a lasting impact on me - and not in a good way. Moments I thought I had resolved through logic, reasoning and talk therapy crashed over my body like a tsunami. Images persisted, and I surrendered to the process. I somehow, in a state of loose consciousness, recognized there was bodily processing of stored emotions that needed to take place.

…And, Emotional Release

At the end of the session we held our knees to our chests while laying on our sides - we were basically in the fetal position. The last image that occurred to me was of my mom, pregnant with me, holding her belly and looking down at it, smiling. There was a deep, inner knowing, for the first time in a very long time, “my mom loves me so much, and she demonstrated and demonstrates that love in the best way she knew and knows”. A sense of peace rushed over me, and a resolution that I am enough. Just because I couldn’t fix my mom’s pain, or I wasn’t reason enough for her to want to take initiative to fix it herself, it didn’t mean her suffering was my fault. It didn’t mean she didn’t love me enough to want to get better. It wasn’t about me. It had nothing to do with me. And at the end of the session when the facilitator had us hug ourselves, I knew I was not hugging 27-year-old Rachel. I was hugging 7-year-old Rachel, 10-year-old Rachel, 13-year-old Rachel. I was hugging the child inside who subscribed to the belief that she wasn’t good enough- smart enough, skinny enough, pretty enough, successful enough, religious enough- to be loved so much that her mom would want to get better. I was hugging the child who brought that deeply rooted belief- or I should say, lie, into every area of her adult life. And I can wholeheartedly say that in that moment, I let go of that lie I had been subconsciously telling myself for almost my entire life.

 

What does the research say?

The research on this kind of somatic release breathwork is still emerging, but there are certainly many anecdotal accounts. This kind of breathing is seen by many as a safe, drug-free way to explore the subconscious. Different people call it by different names - whether it’s somatic release breathwork, holotropic breathing, hypnobreathwork, or a host of other names, effectively it’s about using the breath as a bridge to our spiritual selves. What are we holding onto us that is preventing us from healing? What are we holding onto that is no longer serving us? What are we holding us that is blocking us from achieving our true potential in life? 

The largest study done with holotropic breathing was at a hospital in St. Louis, Missouri, over 12 years with over 11,000 psychiatric inpatients. While there were no adverse effects reported, and 82% of participants reported having a transpersonal experience, it’s important to practice caution with this type of breathwork. Seek out certified facilitators or instructors, and don’t try to conduct your first session alone. Also, if you have medical conditions or take medications that make you prone to fainting or seizures, or if you’re pregnant, recently postpartum, or in general have concerns about confronting traumatic memories, consult your medical professional before engaging in one of these practices. I felt comforted by the fact that I had a therapist to discuss my reactions and insights with after leaving the wellness retreat, so you may find that working with a mental health professional as you uncover and process these stored emotions will help you.

The Bottom Line:

Emotional Processing is Vital for Managing PCOS

What I can tell you is this - stored emotion that we have not allowed our bodies to truly feel and process will haunt us if we do not address it. So often we suppress our emotions. We do not allow ourselves to feel what society deems “bad” emotions. When it comes to PCOS, emotional processing is vital. People with PCOS are 3 times more likely to receive a depression or anxiety diagnosis than people without PCOS. By not allowing ourselves to feel our emotions, we increase the likelihood further that we will suffer from mental health issues. And, suffering from anxiety or depression can exacerbate some symptoms we face from PCOS, such as fatigue or insomnia, digestive issues, and even muscle aches. Additionally, research suggests that emotional repression weakens the immune system. 

Have you been repressing your emotions?

If you’ve processed them in your mind, but haven’t allowed your body to process them, what would it feel like to sit with those emotions right now? Take this as permission to feel and process your emotions. Your health will thank you for it!

 

Happy Healing!

 
Rachel Ruha
Previous

The Link Between PCOS and Binge Eating
Next

Endocrine Disrupting Chemicals & Your PCOS Symptoms